Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Gym Class

Thought this English rant essay was worth sharing… Tell me what you think

Mr. Ziegler,

Lend me your ears, my elder, for I have an important concern to bring to your attention. From banning water bottles to removing grinding to limiting open campus to abolishing finals exemptions, essentially all of your changes to this school have tarnished your reputation from a student standpoint. With that said, isn’t it about time you, you know, please your students? Instead of destroying your image even more in making high-school gym class, dare I say, graded, why not look at the matter logically? Rather than depressing your students even more than you already have, I’d like to make the claim that you instead should remove gym class entirely from Camp Hill High School. The way I look at it, physical education serves two purposes: getting students to exercise and teaching them to take part in a healthy lifestyle. Well, if that’s the case, why does our current curriculum fail to do either? Teachers will drone on about how their class is educationally “enriching” and physically “engaging”, but don’t be swayed- they’re not the one’s actually taking the class. Day in and day out, the understanding of the word “metabolism” is still yet to be found. Day in and day out, I look around and see kids whom I’ve played sports with since kindergarten, some of the most gifted athletes in all of central Pennsylvania, that simply put forth little to no effort in class. You might think people don’t try simply because it’s “not cool,” but there’s much more to it than you might think. The little motivation students do possess going into the class is ripped from their souls upon realizing they can’t even participate in the activities they enjoy. Instead, they are forced to play meaningless games such as pickleball. Yep- you heard me- pickleball. Do you play it with a pickle? No. The game makes just about as much sense as its name. In fact, I’d be willing to bet this game doesn’t even exist outside the gym class universe. But that doesn’t matter here- if it’s absurd it goes. Now even if students were allowed to do want they wanted, it wouldn’t matter. Why? Because we simply don’t have enough time. When you factor in changing before and after class, taking the drawn-out attendance on the iPad, and participating in inane warm-ups, it’s easy to understand why we only have twenty minutes, at most, of the forty-four to actually do something in the class. So as you see, with this class failing to address its objectives, what’s the point in us taking this pointless class? Now, you could argue it plays a crucial role in allowing students to interact with others and make new friends, but in our small school that point is irrelevant since everyone has known eachother since the first grade. Plus, if I want to go somewhere to make new friends, the last place I’m going to go is the wallyball room. Now with all that said, please Mr. Principal- take this opportunity to right your wrongs. Don’t let the class tear us apart, let us tear the class apart. Like pickleball, PE has got to go.

Adam Jones

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Adios, ESPN

I remember the days when I would trot down the stairs, prepare my breakfast, and sit down to watch the 6:00 AM SportsCenter. "She's a beauty that number nine," "Is that bad- it's not good," and "Cool as the other side of the pillow (RIP Stuart Scott)" were just a few of the signature catch phrases the show instilled in my mind during my fine elementary years. Despite this memorable pastime, my view about ESPN has taken a turn for the worse. Once viewing it as unparalleled, I've now come to realize the truth about America's sports network.

Although it's essential for companies to appeal to the masses, ESPN has gone way too far. With all their shows so focused on entertaining and pleasing their audience with eye-popping top plays (neighborhood or pro), the famous sports network is nothing but pleasing. I don't know about you, but when I turn on a sports channel I look for inside and educated insight regarding current issues within sports world. Being the standout sports network in America by a long-shot, it'd be fair to say ESPN fulfills my desire, right? Wrong! From SportsNation to SportsCenter, all the talk is so generic and entertainment based. No in depth conversations are made- it's all "Stan, let's see your imitation of Cam Newton's dab," rather than discussing how Panther's offensive coordinator, Mike Shula, has been able to design his lackluster offense around his key players in order to get the most out of what he has, thus giving the team such offensive success. It doesn't stop there though, ESPN also ruins its content in other ways.

This network is the master at overhyping things! You know that Asian point guard from Harvard that's been traded from team to team these past few years... well, you wouldn't if not for ESPN. Thanks to the severe excess coverage of "Linsanity" from a few years back, this mediocre player became a household name in the networks attempt to "entertain" their viewers. Whenever any feel-good moment occurs or a big-name players does something, ESPN is sure to pounce on it... and pounce on it hard. It's cool at first, but after the third straight week of kissing Tim Tebow's ass, it get's old. I wish ESPN's flaws stopped her- but they don't.

In this day-in-age, people get offended very easily, and, in turn, most networks have started "censoring" their shows to keep up with the trend. Once again though, ESPN goes above and beyond to make sure they please the masses in clearing out any negative content whatsoever from their shows. Employees such as Jim Rome and Colin Cowherd have even been fired due to this stupidity. It's crazy to think that ESPN won't even let their employees be themselves anymore, just to make sure one or two softies don't get their feelings hurt. But it gets worse… The Winter X Games showcased the ultimate downfall of this network just a few days ago. Due to the death of Caleb Moore last year, not only did the ESPN-dictated action sports event get rid of one of its most prominent events in snowmobile best-trick, but it replaced it with the worst thing possible: sports gaming. Deemed an up-and-coming "extreme" sport, professional video gaming made its first official mark on TV this winter. Not only were Halo 5 gamers commentated on and broadcast across the whole country, but they were even given gold, silver, and bronze medals for their "extreme" efforts. 

With that said, I will never be tuning into ESPN again in an effort to shield myself from the "world-class" no-scopes of FaZe Rain and company. I can only imagine what the older generation sports fans think when they see this abomination on their TV screen. I mean, who needs Frazier and Ali when you've got OpTic NaDeSHoT killing it out there for the gold medal each year?

Adios, ESPN.